After a successful project with a customer, I went out to dinner with the CEO and another officer, who I will call Ann. These two remarkable women had created a productive, fun, and high-performance culture that delivers business results and get awards for "best place to work." After a fine dinner swapping personal stories, as Mary and I walk across the parking lot, I say "We should probably coordinate some business briefly, how do you want to handle some of the next steps from the meeting?"
Then the bombshell: "There is something you need to know about my personal situation: I'll be leaving the company in a few weeks. We will need to work out someone else for you to liaise with." I am a bit shocked, and the implications for the company and for our business relationship with it whirl through my head. She continues, "I have been working flat out since I was about 15. I promised myself long ago that I would change gears at 50.
My birthday is two weeks away, and I am going to do it. My father is in poor health and I want to spend time with him. I have a major trip planned with my (grown) children. After that I will probably work at the company about a day a week, and will probably still be involved with SmartOrg. I want to slow down while I can still play a little, rather than slowing down because I have to."
A bit relieved that there will be some continuity in our business relationships, I realize that the step Mary is taking takes a lot of courage. Courage we all wish we had. A kind of courage that helps build high-performance teams. A kind of courage about creating the future you want to live in. A kind of courage I had seen before.
Several years ago, I was leading a large program at AT&T as part of a consulting organization. We were having significant difficulties with the political situation and a dysfunctional culture. The venerable AT&T later pretty much went out of business and was bought by SBC who retained the brand. The company died in part because its culture was so toxic it prevented them from capturing the opportunities all around them. Anyone who wanted to do something a little new, a little innovative, was crushed--not through any specific action, but through a death by a thousand cuts imposed by the culture and status quo.
In my little corner of AT&T, we were working as consultants on a program to improve innovation. It called for business and R&D leadership working together to define the sorts of opportunities they wanted to pursue. The program was not going well. The situation was highly political, there was lots of conflict, and we were being slowly crushed by the culture.
The one unqualified success was a particular project: it was strongly supported, being executed well, and delivering real results. It was a complex project, with about twenty people working on a strategy in a situation of high conflict.
One the consultant who was leading the project, Bob, an extremely competent man in his 50's or 60's, comes to me and says "I am quitting, leaving in a few weeks." I am shocked. He continues, "I have always wanted to teach high school, and I have an opportunity to be a math teacher. My kids are grown, my mortgage is paid, and I am ready to give back to the community."
I was prepared for the worst. In this highly political environment, I was sure people at AT&T would jump on the moment of weakness and things would go from bad to worse. It was only an accident of fate that had resulting in Bob reporting to me, he was clearly more experienced than I and the single most important member of the team (myself included). I was not sure the project, or even program could survive without Bob.
Happily, I was completely wrong.
When Bob announced his intention to the project team, there was a moment of shock and surprise. Then Joe, the head guy on the AT&T side walked up to him and said "Congratulations. It is a rare moment when someone has such an opportunity and is willing to take it." You could see that he hoped to have the courage to do the same someday. Indeed, everyone's response at the meeting was admiration. Joe turned to me and said, "This is going to be a bit complicated for you and for the project, but we will work with you to support Bob's leaving and dealing with the staffing change." From the expressions around the table, you could see that he spoke for everyone, not because of his position of authority, but because they all agreed with him.
Everyone rallied around making it work, and the project continued on its success trajectory. In the middle of a high-conflict political environment and a in company where dysfunctional behavior was the norm, Bob had somehow created a pocket of effective culture and a high-performance team.
I have kept in touch with Bob, and he continues to inspire me and others through his actions and the courage of his convictions. He offered this advice which continues to stick with me: "Don't let what you cannot do get in the way of doing what you can." He consistently treated people with respect, considered options, figured out which was best, and acted. He was open and honest. He had conviction and courage.
In organizations, some choices are hard because of conflict. In organizations or personal situations some choices are hard becuase it is difficult to figure out what is the right thing. But the hardest choices are often fundamentally personal: having the courage to do what you know is right.
In having the courage to take these decisions you know are right, not only do you make good choices, but you effect the people around you, enabling them to make good choices as well. Modeling thoughtful and respectful deliberation, considering the options, selecting one for the right reasons and having the courage to act leaves a precious cultural legacy. Bob did it in the most difficult of environments. Mary contributed to it for her whole company.
I wish Ann well on her new adventures, confident that things will work out fine for her, for the company, and for our business relationship.
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